Pelicans and flatuence.
I hate pelicans. Let me tell you why.
1.They smell like rotten taint
2.They steal your TV when you’re not home. If you happen to be home they do it anyway and don’t apologize.
3.They get jobs that are meant for polar bears who are more qualified.
4.IF you call them a pelican they get mad. However if they’re in a group chilling in a swamp it’s ok.
5.They smell like menthol
I’d also like to take this opportunity to thank Kife for farting on me all night. It was wonderful. I felt as if I was in a video game. Basically I was the hero and he was the evil shit demon who kept putting hate clouds of fuck on my “guy”. If I were to take count I would’ve died on 20 different occasions. I’d rather be eaten by an alligator in pitfall.
I’m also going to say that it sucks being the last one awake. I took a 40 minute reboot nap earlier. It wacked me out a touch but helped. Now everyone is crashed the fuck out and I’m obsessing about pelicans and farts. What kind of fucking life am I leading? I need to go back to farming sheep and selling them for heroin.
On a lighter note the days are getting longer. This means that if you’re out hunting smurfs it will be easier to catch one. Little blue fuckers are tough to see at night. I NEED smurfberries. They go good with sheep heroin.
Feel the burn….