dasramblings

As some may know I’ll be moving to State College shortly for a new job. I have 5 days to get my shit in order before I start.

Everything was going fine. I have a place to stay there, got a job I wanted, a woman I’m into and life is generally good. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and it did.

Today I learned that a loan I was looking to get didn’t go through. It happens and I hold no ill will. I did need that loan to fix up my house and get it up to snuff so it can be rented. Now it’s going to be a big pain in the ass and it will take longer than expected since I’ll have to save the cash over time.

The above didn’t bother me half as much as I am now. Here’s why – my neighbor is looking to get into a new place. My place would be perfect because it’s right across the street from them. They’re also willing to do some work as they lived here in lieu of rent discounts. I was told today that they’re willing to do that as I was working around the house. I went as far as to re-arrange everything so they could get in here by the first of next month.

Well about 15 minutes ago I get a knock on the door from one of my neighbors. He tells me that since he won’t get the room he wanted at my place they’re out of the agreement.  So basically as of now I don’t have the cash to do it myself OR people to rent it. So I’ll be paying a mortgage and possibly rent in SC for awhile. Not to mention I’ll be renting to people I probably don’t know and go through that whole hassle.

I just had to rant. I’m so fucking pissed right now it’s just silly.

Anyone want to loan me like 5 grand? Ugh.

We all know what Myspace is. It’s an addicting little website that your grandmother probably checks out. However, it can be annoying. I’m going to list things in no particular order that piss ME off. Granted I’m a grumpy fuck but maybe it’ll hit a nerve.

1.The “Status” people – Why the fuck do you have to tell me you’re sleeping, at work, touching naked baby dolls or any other insignificant thing? That feature is there to put fun little quips and not to update your friends about your last bowel movement or R.E.M. sleep. Get over yourselves.

2.Bulletin whiners – These are the people who will just send out a “my life sucks” bulletin or something like that. It’s just a fish for attention. I will admit in a drunken rage I’ve thrown a few of these out. I deleted them after I sobered up though and punched myself for being such a shithead.

3.People who fish for comments/compliments – This probably annoys me the most. The lesser of the offenders are the ones who post bulletins saying they have new pics up and you NEED to look at them. Why? If I wanted to e-stalk you I’ll be on your page everyday anyhow. Shut up. The worst ones are those who will go to other people’s page and say something like “Whats up? Nothing here. Doing anything tonight? I can’t because I have cancer.” Now you feel obligated to comment back and validate this person’s fragile emotional state. Of course they’re looking for “awwww man that suuuucccckkkkksss.. Sorry about the forehead tumor… We’ll have to get together once you get it lanced off with an ax”. That makes the fisher feel good for the time being.

4.Strangers and friend requests – We all get the porno slut every now and then wanting you to check out what’s currently in her vagina on her webcam. I know it’s fake, hopefully you know it’s fake. They really don’t bug me. The ones that bother me are those who are legit people. They’ll request you and you add them. After that they make no attempt to talk to you. Why? What’s the point? Is my picture that fucking cool where you needed it on your list? Shoot me an email, get to know me. I’m pretty fucking cool. After about a week or so I’ll just delete them since it’s pointless.

That’s all I have bumping around in my head right now. I’m sure I’ll think of more in the future. Right now I’m out of ideas though so come back soon!

I’ve recently gotten rid of my digital cable for a dish. I went with Dish Network because they had a better deal than DirecTV. Install went great by a nice American fellow who did a great job. I was happy there.

Now the fun…

I was told by Dish’s 3rd party marketing fucks that I’d be getting my dual mode DVR for free. Well, when I got the first bill that wasn’t the case. I call customer service and of course the first person who answers is a broken English Indian. At that point I knew I was fucked. The only thing they were able to do was tell me that they’re sorry but the charge is staying. I ask for a supervisor… guess what their nationality is? The supervisor goes by the name of “Sam” which I’m sure is short for Samachukunabitzy. Anyway, she also apologizes for my charges and reiterates what the first person told me. At this point I’m pissed off. I get her to send me a wireless phone line system so that I can hook my DVR up to my phone line instead of dual mode. That’s fine because it’ll get rid of the charge and the system is being sent to me for free.

Fast forward to today. I receive the wireless system and hook it up per the directions. All lights are gren and happy. I call Dish again to see if there was anything I had to do to verify the connection was ok. Of course I get a durka motherfucker on the phone. Now, you can always tell when you’re talking to India – they never engage in chatter, leave their script or listen to a damn thing you say. Basically this curry sniffing bitch went through a bunch of prompts on her screen, what I said to her in ENGLISH didn’t translate to her Elephant worshiping mind and she just said “ok, it’s good.” Bull-fucking-shit! I call back to speak to Abdul or some shit in customer service to get the charge off now that I’m hooked up correctly. Well, he informs me that tech never put notes in and I have to talk to them again.SADFAWERSDFDASGSASDEGRGR!!!!!!!!

To this point the whole ordeal took about 20 minutes and nothing was resolved. I call back one more time trying to choke back the tears when a ray of hope shines through the clouds. AN ENGLISH SPEAKING AMERICAN ANSWERS THE PHONE!!! I JUST CAME!!! This cat’s name was Ed. (can’t get much more American than “Ed”) I told him what was up, he told me what to do and in THREE MINUTES my problem was resolved. Imagine that?? It’s not my fucking fault that when you idiots settled India you put it on the most dusty, barren place in the world. Make your own industry and leave ours alone!

When will companies learn that outsourcing to other countries who can’t speak the language is stupid? Sure they may work for half a penny every week but is it worth it? I know whenever I call customer service or tech somewhere I hate it. In a week I went from loving Dish Network to hating it due to the shitty customer service. However if I was to ever meet Ed I’d gladly buy him a beer. If I ever met my previous “helpers” I’d hit them with a log.

Why is it that when you’re unemployed and collecting people think you have nothing better to do than help them?

Currently instead of working on my house I’m waiting on a call back about a tire for my dad’s car. Basically he has a flat and needs to throw a used one on there for the time being. This is well within his means to do himself. I’ve done it when I was at work a few times. Still, I get to do it. Now granted my folks help me out and I have no problems doing favors at all. However it does get on my nerves when it’s something simple.

My Nana is another one. Since I lost my job I’ve been her personal chauffeur and all around go-to guy. She’s another one who I don’t mind helping. Although now she just assumes I’ll be there to cart her around. Yesterday she told me she needed me to take her for a hair appointment on the 15th of March. HELL NO! That’s the Scranton parade. That shit is like Mardi Gras in the cold and no way I’m missing it. She got mad because I wasn’t catering to her and I “didn’t have anything else better to do”.

Being unemployed is pretty much the same as owning a pickup. Since you have it people assume you’re always willing to lend it out to move their shit.

I’ve become pretty good at filling my day lately. I work out, work on the house, organize shit, do research – it’s not like I sit here doing nothing. When my “rhythm” is interuppted it gets on my nerves. Right now I feel I’m just wasting time waiting on that call. Blah.

That’s about it. Yay.

I’m on a self-induced pissy mood currently. Let me tell you why.

I play guitar. I consider myself pretty damn good. However I’m only good when I’m playing MY songs. I can jam out for hours throwing out some awesome riffs. HOWEVER when it comes to me playing other people’s shit I suck.

For instance I decided tonight that I’m going to re-learn some songs I knew back in the day. My first one was Enter Sandman. We all know it – we all love it. I had a hard time getting past the first fucking riff! WTF!!!??!?! I used to be able to play this song before but now I can’t.  I said “fuck it” to that song and moved onto Sweet Child O’ Mine. Another classic. I was able to play this song when I was 16 years old. Now it sounds like Mary Had a Little Lamb That Miscarriaged.

It doesn’t help that I can’t read music either.  I can only read tab – and badly. My brain and groups of numbers don’t get along. It’s like Dyslexia with numbers. I’ve never been tested for such a thing but I’m sure it exists. The numbers get all scrambled and I can’t make sense of them.

At this point I can continue to be a hack or learn how to read real music. Anyone out there care to teach me? I’m so pissed at myself right now it’s not even funny. FUCK!

So I’m at the doctors office this morning to get a checkup. There’s two older ladies sitting to the left of me chatting. In walks a mother and her Satan child. This kid had blaze red hair and was loud as hell. (It was 8:30 in the morning – not a time I care to be in public or annoyed) Anyway, this kid is screaming his head off. Of course the two old ladies thought it was cute as hell. They asked him “what’s your name?” Instantly the kid screams in a non-sensical voice “SHAAMFDSFISSSHHDDIGG!!” Now this kid had fucking PIPES. Every shrill from his little vocal chords made my brain bleed just a little bit more.

The mother of course loves the strangers affection towards her child. He’s the most beautiful thing ever. Hubby Satan was no doubt at the pitchfork factory earing a living for her and their child. She keeps prodding the kid saying “telling them how old you are” and “go ahead.. tell them your name” to which the kid says “uuuhhhmmmmRATYTSKILLLARRFUMCHOOOO!” I swear I saw fire come out of his mouth on the last one.

Mercifully the mother decided it was time to go to Wal-Mart and buy some more flame retardant clothes at low, low prices. Serenity was attained yet again.

Anyway what I’m trying to say is this – if Satan’s child comes into a public place with other people please don’t talk to him.

Oh yea I don’t have a problem with little kids. I only have a problem with them when they’re screaming in my ear and the parents think it’s fucking cute. It’s not.

Bonus material!!!

The following is an excerpt from the two old ladies chatting:

Lady 1 – You have a lot of hair on your face

Lady 2 – Ohhhhh! I guess I forgot to shave this morning.

Ewwwwwwww!

Texting and emails.

OK, we’re in a communication age I understand that. Still, the more I talk to people they more they rely on emails, texting and shit like that.

Granted, these things are great for avoiding confrontational situations. They work for doing it to ex’s, people you think are a dick or just for random crap.

However what gets me the most is when I get a text message. Personally I have a house phone and a cell phone. PHONE! If I want a text message I’ll just on aim and chat. Why text someone and wait for a response when you can just call them and verbally speak? It the reason we have these technologies.

Granted, text messages are good sometimes. If you’re in a bar and it’s too loud to talk that’s acceptable. Work, class – times you SHOULDN’T be doing it are acceptable as well.

However, texting someone on their PHONE to try to get plans for something is dumb as hell. To quote one of my favorite after 2am on the weekends porn commercials “Pick up the phone!”

p.s.-if you text me, I’ll CALL you back.